so far, so bad
2 years ago
i feel this is an impossible task for me and have no been successful once.
le sigh.
Comments:
kerrythekyd is home in Amsterdam
Try again?
Impossible? Is that really true? Can you do it at least once?
It’s really difficult I know. I’m fighting the fight too.
What’s keeping you in bed?
what isnt?
i hate my school, i hate my job
i sleep in the basement so its always freezing
and i know that, if needed, i can get ready in a half hour instead of the hour i try to give myself…
and with all that going on… its really hard to get out of bed at a decent time
also i dont go to work or school until late in the afternoon [like 3-5] and i try to set my alarm for like 10.30 am so i might do something productive with my life before i go out
it has failed
good news…
school has started…
my earliest class is at 11 which means i have to be up by 9.30 to be there on time
so there might be hope yet
kerrythekyd is home in Amsterdam
A full plate
It sure does look like you have a full plate to deal with. And I don’t mean not getting out of bed or the job, or the school that you hate.
The biggest thing really is the massive judgement you have about yourself for not getting out of bed! The thing that’s getting me through this is knowing that I am making a choice every time I don’t get out of bed when that alarm rings. A choice not to choose to move my ass out of there. I am in control of that situation too.
And when I beat myself up about chosing to stay in bed, that’s a choice too.
It’s all me. I created this horrible situation in my own mind. So I can uncreate it. Easy? Not at all. But I’m working at just doing it. Not complaining or feeling sorry for myself.
After all there’s a reason that I want to do thisctive control of my life and not have a reason to beat myself up.
So getting out in to the dark and the cold to go to a crap job that’s an 1h30 away is choice about whoI want to be.
I’m sure you’re hating me right now for preaching, but that’s what’s getting me through this.
I hope that it at least gives you something to thinkn about.
