I will be attending a orientation session at the Indianapolis Zen center. Yesterday – my mind was not running in the right tracks. I had stopped seeing all the confirming signs. I left work early and went to the library near the place I’m living.
I took up a place near the back and staked out a little spot to start. Just for a visual – I have been carrying around a copier paper box with all the things I have to attend to in addition to having my laptop slung on my shoulder. So I plop this paper box and my laptop down in a study cubicle and go off to find the buddist books. I found them and brought two back. On was the Healing Anger by the DL and the other was Essential Zen – each about 150 pages. I sat and determined to read through them both. I spent the next 2 hours reading. I then stood up and was met with a realization. I had stopped seeing the affirming signs because I had focused on a minor setback. It was all I could see. Then I began to miss the fact that this minor set back was not a setback at all… but rather a new beginning.
Yes – the reality was that the failure of this piece was actually better for me then if it had played out as anticipated. Then I looked at the books on the shelf right behind were I had chosen to sit. They were all focused on a topic that I have been more and more interested in. There was a book on Chinese herbal medicine sitting by itself. A lovely book, oblong with a cloth cover, a wieghty tome. (I love books). I picked it up and it opened to the entry for “GINGER”. I have been craving fresh ginger the last few weeks and have been looking for it in the local markets. No luck though.
I was suddenly infused with that deep bright hope that has marked most of my recent journey.
Things are as they should be. They are.