When I was growing up, my father was very emotionally abusive. The negative image of myself that he implanted in my head as a child eventually followed me throughout my life, beyond his death ten years ago, and then re-surfaced during my adult years. These thoughts contributed significantly to a meltdown I experienced last year that almost drove me to consider an…”unfavorable end”.
It was ten years since the guy’s death and, instead of focusing on how much damage he did to me, I sat and thought about how his life was like growing up. I focused on how he’d make sure I had whatever I wanted and always wanted to see me happy. And then a few things dawned on me: how could I let someone who’s (hopefully) been resting in peace for years still live rent free in my mind? Why constantly hate the guy when he was just being a father the way he in his mind thought was right? And, looking at the whole meltdown situation with a “glass half full” perspective, what he did I managed to overcome and has made stronger as a person today.
So I forgave my father and, letting his undead soul rest and not remain in my head after ten years has brought me an immense amount of peace and closure. It’s easier to forgive someone than hate them the rest of your life. It’s certainly not easy to do, but once you do, life becomes that much better.