wildwolfwoman

stop Hateing my father even though I know it won't happen.
Self-made Hell 23 months ago

I don’t really hate my father, i just feel nothing for him or my mum anymore, i more gave up on them than hate them. My mum is trying to make up for leaving me in that house, and letting kevin into our home, but i will never shake those memories from my mind, or the ones being molded in the present. I don’t think she completely understands how much she put me through, but that’s what happens when parents don’t love you. So i’m writing this not to forgive them, but more to forgive myself, i blamed myself for everything that went wrong with my mums life. I won’t make that mistake again.

Jan 10, 2008, 08:20AM PST | 1 cheer


Comments:

Mme Delacroix is writing Christmas Cards to 43Ters

there is a point

where you go cold inside. isn’t there? it’s like an eternity trying to melt/trying to change it back again (when, if ever, you get to that point).

it’s strange that i can always name two moments where i can say “here is the moment that i stopped loving my mum” and “here is the moment that i stopped loving my dad”.

i have been trying to uncrystalize this heart towards them over the past few years, but, really, the thaw is not going that deep… it is only really getting to the point that i can see them as human beings who are flawed and hurt themselves. a kind of pity, rather than true love. it’s really sad.

some people don’t have any clue how lucky and blessed they are to have had a “normal” upbringing… they really don’t.

Feb 13, 2008, 07:29PM PST | Respond to this


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