5Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
6 Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.

7 Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.
     Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 Then you will have healing for your body
     and strength for your bones.

9 Honor the Lord with your wealth
     and with the best part of everything you produce.
10 Then he will fill your barns with grain,
     and your vats will overflow with good wine.

11 My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline,
     and don’t be upset when he corrects you.
12 For the Lord corrects those he loves,
     just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.[b]

13 Joyful is the person who finds wisdom,
     the one who gains understanding.
14 For wisdom is more profitable than silver,
     and her wages are better than gold.
15 Wisdom is more precious than rubies;
     nothing you desire can compare with her.
16 She offers you long life in her right hand,
     and riches and honor in her left.
17 She will guide you down delightful paths;
     all her ways are satisfying.
18 Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her;
     happy are those who hold her tightly.

19 By wisdom the Lord founded the earth;
     by understanding he created the heavens.
20 By his knowledge the deep fountains of the earth burst forth,
     and the dew settles beneath the night sky.

21 My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment.
     Hang on to them,
22 for they will refresh your soul.
     They are like jewels on a necklace.
23 They keep you safe on your way,
     and your feet will not stumble.
24 You can go to bed without fear;
     you will lie down and sleep soundly.
25 You need not be afraid of sudden disaster
     or the destruction that comes upon the wicked,
26 for the Lord is your security.
     He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap.

Ok so hear’s the deal. GOD’s really been teaching me how much I need to trust Him. Like, for real. Not just say I trust him. Actually trust Him. Talk is cheap. I’ve been worried about my future lately. Some aspects of it more than others. Really, I’ve been worried. First, I was worried that I wasn’t equipped to do what GOD has called me to do. I felt really incapable. GOD quickly showed me how incredibly stupid it is to think that. I mean really! GOD created me to do a specific job. How retarted(sorry, I hate that in it’s usage here but I use it to make it sound harsh) is it to think that GOD would see a task that needs to be done, create me to do it, then not give me everything I need to accomplish it. I’m created with everything I need to accomplish whatever task the creator sets before me. And who am I to worry about what GOD wants me to do? He knows exactly what He wants me to do. I just need to oblige. I thought how I want to be an instrument of GOD. I thought of it like me being a musical instrument. A trumpet to be specific. If I’m the instrument, GOD is the Master Musician. His lips are on the mouthpiece, His fingers are on the valves, His breathe is flowing through me and His song is being played. He gets to play whatever song He wants, and it’s a good song. It is beautiful.
He’s well on His way of teaching me all the truths I just wrote. He’s helping me to walk in that truth.

There are other things I need to give to GOD though. More aspects of my future. Things that I would very much like to be focusing on and trying to develop right now. Things in my future that I would love to pour into now, but it’s seriously not the time right now. I decided to dedicate 9 months, five left, to purely seeking out GOD and His guiding discipline. Other things, although good, have to be entrusted to GOD for the time being. I can’t take control of things myself and secure my future.
I was going to write an entry called “blind faith” but the topic is brought up now so I’ll put those thoughts here.
The things I still need to entrust to GOD are things that I can’t keep an eye on, things I can’t focus attention, daily prayer(I need to just trust that GOD is taking care of it rather than make sure everyday), or even conversations on these things.I can keep them in mind in learning how to discipline myself, preparing myself for them, just not devote intentional effort to be involved with them. And that scares me. Because I truly have to trust that while I’m not looking, GOD is taking care of it all. “Do not depend on your own understanding”. I could probably take care of some of these things hands on, based on the teachings I’ve received over the years. Things would probably work out ok. But for now, for these remaining 5 months, I have to have blind faith in the sense that I won’t see GOD taking care of it because I can’t be involved right now. I just have to trust completely.
He is good, and His love endures forever.