Having decided to try and keep to the same goal as you, I know exactly what you mean.

When you feel really happy, for instance when you’ve just come out of a really productive church session you begin to realise all the things that God has used you for and some things he wants you for in the future. The feeling is truly legendary….

However, I find that feeling especially hard to come across when you get ‘the baddd feeling’. Like the feeling of desertion, or, what I call, the event horizon. The feeling that you can’t come back from…then the porn happens, then I really do lose all faith in myself.

But the next day, if someone says something to you, and it has real meaning, or if you get your prayers answered, or just generally feel extremely godly….it really gives you a lift you know?! Wow….I want those feelings all the time XD.