Contemplative Jenn is longing, forcefully
Opportunities for self-honesty present themselves in the most unexpected of places. Recently I have been faced with opportunities to unpack my own reactions to things. I do not take these opportunities for granted. I find that in life it is easy to form personal reactions that fit readily within the window of expectation and normative thinking, and I do it often, automatically in fact, without truly understanding my reactions, let alone unpacking them. I am not by nature a reactionary person, so the intellectual response, weighing various outside constraints, comes easily to me. The visceral, passionate response is there, and strong, but does not get pulled out very often in the day-to-day. Like our dancing shoes (or thigh-high stilettos) in the midst of a busy work week, that response is not always functional, or appropriate, or not practical, at least. The problem is, the large-thinking intellectual approach rarely leads to honesty, certainly not honesty with one’s self.
Recently I have been blessed with opportunities to delve into my reactions, either out of necessity, due to the lack of an applicable normative benchmark, or due to the implied or exemplified charge by key others to move outside those first reactions. What I have found has been enlightening and energizing, and so very, very valuable.
