For me, the most difficult part of keeping liquor stocked at home is keeping fresh tonic and soda. Maybe I should invent tiny bottles that only have enough for a single gin and tonic, or a single whiskey soda. That way I wouldn’t have open bottles that, no matter how tightly screwed shut, always lose their bubbles.

Also, I’m out of whiskey. The bottle of empty Crown Royale was thrown out my window last night, but it didn’t break. By morning, foxes had foxed it away.