So, you see the entry i wrote below? You can totally disregard that because like usual, things for me always just fuck up. I’m sure i just got all hyped up because she was just paying attention to me. I thought she was flirting but, i guess not.
Things are still bleak and whatever. I give up. I just hate being lonely cuz it just makes me feel unwanted. I was just talkin to someone that i used to like on AIM but, that’ll never happen. I met up with her one time for lunch and, thinking that things were “goin well” i gave it a chance. EEEHHH! (buzzer sound), wrong!!!!
I guess I just have high standards. I”m just such a perfectionist, i’m looking for the perfect girl that doesn’t exist. I want “this, that, and this” which doesn’t exist in someone. I’m my own worst enemy but hey, i’d rather be single that with someone I don’t like. Who knows. its just a mystery so, i guess i’ll just stop tryin to figure it out.
A couple days ago, i was watching the simpsons and… I realized I’m milhouse. I don’t know if that’s how you spell it, but who cares. Basically he’s always tryin to get Lisa and it just won’t ever happen. He reads into things too much and always thinks he has a chance. Then, at one point, something in the show just hit me like a brick goin about 100 mph. Lisa said something to Milhouse that “he was like a girlfriend” to her. There has been SO many times that has happened to me. Not necessarily the word “girlfriend” but there have been girls that just want to be friends with me. It’s such a pet peeve of mine.
What do I do? I’m naturally just a nice guy. Of course when I get pissed off, i’m not very pleasant so i’m sure that’s what they really like. The logic doesn’t make f*(#ing sense. I guess for me, this type of “thought”’ drives me nuts because i’m always tryin to figure out problems and this is something I really have to give up on. There is no answer. I guess its just fate.
Anyway, i’m done. Comment if you want. Later.