There are two people at work who I suspect are interested in me.

I went on vacation to Las Vegas recently, and met two men who I suspect were interested in me.

Nothing has happened between these guys and me, but I have noticed recently that I seem to be getting more attention. Now, no one has said specifically that they like me, but the attention is not something I’m used to. It’s weird. It’s flattering, don’t get me wrong, but it’s weird. The problem is that the feelings aren’t exactly mutual. And the ones I wish would give me attention aren’t biting.

I feel like there’s a discord between how I look and how I feel. I think I’ve changed a lot in the last few months. I look a lot better than I used to. I feel a lot better than I used to, but at the same time, I still feel very awkward with the whole romance thing. What’s weird about all of this is that I feel like there’s some kind of development in the works – maybe I’m going to be asked out on a date, maybe I’m going to have a boyfriend – I don’t know – but I have no reason for this hunch. Is it just a result of the changes I’ve undergone? Is it a sign that maybe I’m ready to start dating? I don’t know. This is all very new for me. I think what I’m ready for is not all of this dating business, but a real relationship. I want to skip the getting-to-know-you stage and go right to the let’s-stay-in-and-order-Chinese stage, the stage where silence isn’t awkward. But I know that’s hard to come by without dating first.

I don’t know what my point is. I don’t know what kind of feedback I’m asking for, but I am asking for feedback. Maybe a “Don’t worry, GAinCA, you are beautiful/awesome/worthy/(insert your own adjective here).” Or “You are not as crazy/intolerable/neurotic as you think you are.” Or “You are definitely deserving of the man of your dreams, whoever he may be” would be nice.

Please tell me if I am being pathetic. It feels that way sometimes.