So, went to a therapist. She thinks this problem is all too common. She doesn’t think I’m an alcoholic, and that I can get to the root of why I drink so much in quantity when i actually do drink more than 2. I’m unsure of why she went so easy on me. Maybe bc she recognized how hard I already am on myself. My husband thinks I should never even have 1 glass of wine. He feels that that will just open the doors for a binge. I went out went a friend the other night and just ordered water. I’m glad I am at least obstaining until I feel sure that I can control myself from getting too drunk. Today I looked at my bank statement online, and saw how much money I actually spent on my last night out drunk…I dont remember it being so expensive, and I’m wondering if in my drunkeness, i offered to foot the bill. That makes me feel even more like I lose control, because I usually am generous, but I still watch out for how much I spend. I bought a book, called “Smashed: A story of drunken girlhood.” Keep you posted.
Comments:
It's the money that got me
Looking at my bank statements from my binges, and seeing evidence of how much money I was wasting really opened my eyes. I also don’t think you are an alcoholic – I just think (like me) that because you rarely get sick, you never developed normal drinking habits – you probably want to keep “having fun” and part of it involves buying drinks. One of my friends is a teetotaller and hanging out with him inspired me to develop better habbits. Good luck!
It happened AGAIN
Yep, of coarse we all knew I’d probably get wasted again at some point. It’s because I had limited myself to 2 drinks and was doing so well. Finally I had 2 VERY strong cosmopolitans and said “what the hell-one more round.” Bad news. I wonder if I’ll ever have control over myself if I drink at all. I’ve been abstaining now for 3 weeks. Not a drop. It’s been easy, since I don’t crave alcohol anyway. But, when I see people having a glass of wine at dinner, I wonder “why can’t I be that responsible? Why do I let it all hit the fan once I’ve allowed myself a drink?” I wonder if some people physiologically just cannot handle drinking?
