my friend spent the night because i was just to lonely to spend it by myself.
i have never felt so lonely, and it makes me sick to my stomach.
i cannot eat or sleep, and because of that my head is constantly throbbing and hurting.
and every second i just want to call my exboyfriend, but i have to stop myself. because i know that absolutely nothing good can come of it.
all he has to say to me are hurtful words.
but i decided today (the 29th) that i am going to “go off” to college.
i was originally going to go to community college in my home town, but i have made the decision that i am going to go to san francisco state.
it is only 3-4 hours away from where i live now, but i feel that if i go away for college i will have a chance to meet new people and better myself.
and i just don’t feel i can handle staying here, where i see my ex around daily, and where my good friends have become familiarized with cocaine and crystal meth.
i just feel there is nothing good for me here anymore.
today was a lose, and i am still fighting the feeling of wanting to call him.
wins:loses
2:4