...the “regaining my sense of wonder” thing. It seems, in retrospect, like I didn’t ever forget that, really. I just didn’t like so much who I in fact am, and the consequences of being me, and all of that. It was kind of a bad time when I hatched this goal…and, I dunno, maybe I did forget. Maybe.

I’m someone who cares deeply, doesn’t ever seem to take the easy path between point A and point B, doesn’t flinch away from potential injury, doesn’t flee from morally and emotionally complicated situations. I try to approach people that I care for as naked as I can be of emotional and spiritual armor. I’m a lot of other things as well, for good and for ill…some admirable, some not. I suppose I’ve had a hard time in recent days with being who I am, and with some of the consequences that come from being this person. At the same time, while I do strive with more or less diligence and determination to perfect my imperfections, the core of me I think is pretty good, and I can’t change that without changing a lot of other things, and I wouldn’t want to, I don’t think, honestly.

I think probably what I wanted out of this goal was to actually not be that person, and to somehow remember that I was someone else who was less prone to sustain grievous emotional injury from time to time. I am not, at the end of the day, someone else, however, and I think I’m okay again with the risk of grievous emotional injury. Even if I’m not, it’s all a ticket I’ve bought, and a ride I’m on, and as much as I might like that not to be the case sometimes, it’s not a ride I can really get off of before it’s over. And, as I say, I think I’m okay with that again. At least until the next anvil falls from the sky. Heigh ho, and tra la.