Well Im 21 years old and now my panick attacks are turning into anger. I had severe panick attacks in highschool but now instead of having panick attacks Im having bits of rage. About a month ago my dads friends son “worked on my car”. When he really didnt and just ran a half a tank of gas out and took the parts money ($400 dollars) and did who knows what with it. Long story and one that Im not going to explain. I came home from work and my dad had looked at the car and told me that he did not do a single thing to it. So I went into our bathroom and just something popped. I started punching the wall and screaming. Oh yes now there are holes in our bathroom wall. I had a shitty day at work. Well thats been the norm recently (having a shitty day at work). So people were trying to fuck with me at work and this moron fucked with me and my car. So that day I just popped.
So now Im still angry at work because of this new girl and these old hags. She was nice at first and then some of the old bitches in there started running there mouths. So the other day the girl comes up to my desk and (well i had just moved back to the old desk that I had) and so she says something to me and I go yeah I used to sit here before, she goes why did you move, I started to tell her but I said its a long story, and she goes in a snotty little attidudeyish way. So you got the raw deal or some shit like that. Now I have not said two mother f*ing words to this girl and now all of a sudden she thinks she knows the whole situation. shes only been at the job for like two weeks. So I know that those old witches have been talking.These people are nice to your face and then go on break and talk shit about you, Im SICK of IT!!! But I guess that is how the marvelous adult world is. I just want to be left alone. I have too much shit going on to sit there and be like a little twelve year old and gossip and talk shit about people. These people have nothing better to do I guess. UGGGGHHHH they just piss me off. So I know that NOW IM DONE. Im putting in applications this week for a new job. Its been a long time coming. Six months ago(Ive been there a year) I put in my two weeks notice but I wound up talking to the boss and said I would stay. Im getting to the point where I want to learn how to live out in the wilderness. But no matter where you go life is going to be hard, you just have to roll with the punches or be the one dishing them out,lol.
Im a sincerly nice person but people are always going to either hate you for no reason or be jeolous of you, or misconstrew what you say. These people dont realize that Im still recovering from having agoraphobia, (being afraid of being out around people, having panick attacks, etc) Im not good at making friends, or being social. I guess I need to take acting classes to learn how to be fake…....
Maybe Im just going crazy…..
Comments:
You can change everything so it gets fine
I have had anger attacks for a long, long time. They have got me in serious trouble (I have no friends and am considered a nerd-something unpleasant in Junior High School), besides that I have broken a lot of things and must pay a lot of money that I dont have.
But, anyway, I would like to confort you. You can totally change your environment. I dont think quitting your job or going into the wilderness is going to be of any help.
First, smile, have a deep breath, and think positive about absolutely everything. Then, forgive your immature coworkers and try to be nice to them. I am sure the new girl is going to realize the great guy you are (talking bad of someone is not a virtue people like, so she will change to your side).
This may sound strange, but screw as viciously and as destructively you can that kid that didnt repair your car. But do it in a discrete and sigilous way. At the end he must get in terrible trouble, give you back your money, fix your car, furnace it, and then give you back even some money. Its just Karma with compound interest.
You are going to be really high next year.
