feel the fear and do it anyway (read all 6 entries…)
sad little thing 7 months ago

I don’t really know where to post this, so I’m putting it here. Because it’s about feeling something but wanting to go on.

I have been feeling anxious/down the last day or so. And that put me into a cycle of bad sleep and more anxiety. Meditation and relaxation exercises didn’t help. Staying up kept me thinking, which didn’t help.

And here’s Monday again, and it’s the same old stuff. Same problems, same worries. I tried to picture what I would do if I could be doing anything at all, and I couldn’t even come up with one thing.

But it is springtime in Providence. I just went out for a few minutes, and the air was warm. The trees are in full flowering mode. I got a vision of myself on a balcony in the warm air, reading a book. Even though I had to come back inside to work, it was a soothing thought.

So what is there this sad little scared feeling that wants to hold on? It won’t let me be that completely “chill” person, the other half. It wants to call S and say I’m not happy. It wants to worry and wallow in the not feeling well. It wants to ruin my productivity, and ruin my health. And it did, for two days and nights. I want it to be gone!



Comments:

Monti says "MEOW" loves watching Supernatural

Go away, Sags evil anxiety!

Sending you happy thoughts and well wishes!!

Sometimes the anxiety takes over and it’s too strong for us to beat back and it hangs on and doesn’t want to let go. I hate when that happens! You can get through it though. It takes effort but I know you can make it go away. You’re stronger than it is!

thank you Plummy

I appreciate that soooo much :)!

sparkleman is healthy at last!

Awwwww

I used to get these phases a lot. I still do occasionally. For me, the helpless, depressive, anxious feeling was linked to wanting someone to come and rescue me, to make things better for me. As a child this would happen if I was helpless enough – but as an adult it’s a pretty useless emotion :-)

Of course I was lucky – I didn’t have a chemical imbalance, depression, or anything like that.

Sit with it and see where it takes you. Write a little story about it, just off the top of your head. Imagine you are the sad little thing as an animal – write about that and see what comes out.

x

sittin'

I like that “sit with it and see where it takes you.” The Buddha would approve!

Today’s much better. I don’t need to pretend those feelings weren’t as strong as they were. And this makes me not fear them if (when?) they come back.

I think these sorts of anxieties come up to keep us grounded, in the here and now and focused on the things we think need ‘fixing’. I think its great you took the time to go outside and enjoy whats around you—even with all the stressors of the world on our backs, its always good to go outside, take a deep breath and try to realign. You’ll find that becomes so therapeutic.

I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you!

grounding

Thank you so much for your note! That does make sense, because the things I am thinking about are all the main issues in my life where I want to see some progress. Maybe this is brain’s way of saying “OKay, now deal with it!” Wish it were a bit easier emotionally, though!

I think I’ll head outside again this afternoon :).


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