i have to thank john lee, at least publicly, here in this space, for this goal.

i think a lot about this goal…most often when i am cotemplative or when i have the luxury to be lost in thought. a new and fulfilling experience. so much of my life in the last year and a half has been about such experiences. so much happens in daily life you have to separate what is “new and fulfilling” and what is “necessary”. and then so very often, those two distinctions become blurry and unnecessary.

in regards to this goal, it doesn’t have to be a loud experience or moment, a declaration. I DID THIS. I MADE THIS. such experiences are often intuitive (even though we may not be aware of the process) and filled with honesty and passion.

these things are, in essence, what makes us human.

i went in for a medical test this past wednesaday. it was truly horrible. two failed needle insertions. i passed out. i was in pain. i had a panic attack and freakout. sounds bad, yeah? the thing is, i have been going to the doctor and been test subject boy for a few years now. good news, bad news, etc etc. i used to be able to hide from it, to silently accept it. Can’t seem to do that anymore. Can’t seem to bear it. And that, truly, is not a terrible thing at all. That was my new experience, to finally be awake to lilfe that I couldn’t run away and hide anymore.

To be awake.

So I share it here in this list that everyone contributes to, too.

where we share the best parts of ourselves.

cheers.