watercolor chill and imagine
Was October 13, 2006. I was driving and hour and a a half south to see my boyfriend and we were supposed to go to his parent’s house for dinner so I could meet them. We’d been dating about 7 months. I remember very clearly thinking how amazingly happy I was.
Then, I got there and he told me he’d cheated on me and I turned around drove home crying the whole way.
I recovered enough to start dating the next summer and met D. We dated for 6 weeks when he broke up with me because his life was to complicated. We kept in touch and started dating a little bit around Christmas and it turned serious again after the first of this year. And I remember thinking that I was starting to really feel happy again for the first time since that day in October. Now, he has left me for this old girlfriend.
And I keep flashing back to that first day when it all went so awry.
I know my happiness cannot depend on someone else.
But my deep profound unhappiness seems to keep being caught up in having my heart crushed by someone else.