My boyfriend went to the doctors today because he’s lost a lot of weight for no reason. I was waiting for him outside and he came out looking mortified.

B/f: I feel so violated.
Me: What happened?
B/f: He cupped my testicles.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Later as we were walking home..

Me: Well at least you know you don’t have any wierd lumps down there.
B/f: And that I could never, ever be gay