first off, this is NOT something you want! You don’t want to be raped. I was, it’s not glamorous, it’s not hot. It’s very emotionally painful and draining. You can’t stop blaming yourself. It’s not what you want. This is coming from someone that used to think they wanted to be raped. I think what most of you want is to be dominated. If you really want to experience the feeling of being controlled, and being told what to do/forced to do things, try BDSM. Go find a dom or even a switch, whatever works for you, and tell them you’ll be there sub/slave/pet whatever. It’s fun and lets you live out those fantasy’s some may call “sick”. But rape, well, part of what defines it is NOT WANTING IT.