at 16, i was fantastic with children. i am 22 now, married, and every year i’ve learned more and more and now, although i still think i did pretty damn well with kids when i was 16, there were still plenty of things i didn’t know. i can see all of my mistakes now and i’m extremely happy that didn’t have my own when i was 16. quite honestly, i think being a teenager is the hardest phase we go through in life. not only is it not logically sane to add a baby to the mix, but most importantly, think of what’s right for the baby. as a person who will someday be a mom, you already have a responsibility to your children. to raise them in the best environment that you can offer them and to offer them a strong, steadfast and wise mother so that they have a good example, a good person to depend on, and a good person to teach them how to be independent.

statistically, children do better with decently educated parents. PARENTS. two of them. and marriage is a known institute to best maintain a child. having a diploma also helps. a degree helps even more. a license. your own form of GOOD income, not a minimum wage job with no future. these are just the logistical things to think about.

and most of all, never have a child because you want a friend. your child doesn’t need you to be his/her friend, especially in the beginning of their life. they need you to be a mother first and foremost because they will only ever have one. friends, they will have plenty. as a mother, you have an obligation to maintain that difference for the first 21 years of their life. as they get older, you can begin to develop a friendship, but remember, you are always a role model. i was 16 6 years ago and i can’t believe how much i’ve learned and grown up in 6 years. there’s such a huge difference. and i’m sure in another 6 years i will be just as amazed at how much i’ve learned since being 22. get through your life now. whatever hardships and things you encounter, you’ll need your energy, believe me. i’ve wanted kids more than anything in my whole entire life. and from the time i was 8, i realized that if i wanted to be the best mom ever, i’d have to get through my life until it was the right time. and through out most of my childhood and teenage years, i made it a priority to take care of myself, get through my teenager years as successfully as possible, graduate HS, go to college, get married and be able to provide a stable lifestyle for my child, while constantly developing my maturity and ability to not just be able to “work well with kids” but to be a MOM… which is SO much more than that. really think about this, chica, and if you feel like you’re a mother at heart, you’ll do what is best for your kids. which is wait just a few more years. you will see that it’s worth it.

I have no idea of your circumstances or when you plan to have your baby. Obviously you do need a Father for your baby and to be able to provide lots of love for them too. A high paying job and degree are not necessary nor are they necessary when setting a good example.

I had my child when I was 17 years old and giving birth to him has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. He gave me a sense of direction and purpose I never had before.

My child is a bright, well adjusted, well behaved, polite little boy and I’m very proud of him. I fail to see how my age would have made any difference to how he’s turned out so far.

a desire for offspring is completely natural. the second the old period starts, a strong desire to mate and a search for completion begins. this is the way of nature. however statstics say that the older you are when have a baby, the better advantages they will have in life. if you have an option to wait, do it. i lived with a desire for a kid, a very strong longing, for 9 years before I had one. When you have a child, your personality and habits are pretty much set in stone for the next two decades. Those nine years, I went through a lot of jerks, traveled the world, learned to drive, speak spanish, got my partying out of my system, met some great people, saved up money, gathered some new skills. None of that would have happened if I had a baby then. I’m a better mother for having waited.Write a list of all the things you’d like to be as a mother and things you think you need to do and have first. Being a good mom is a long path that starts before a child is ever concieved.

Let me tell you that I had sooo much fun when I went to college. I wouldn’t trade those years for anything. Let yourself sleep in and make bad decisions and party all night. Seriously.

THEN

When your life is panning out and you’ve stabilized MAKE BABIES!!!

Ha ha. Just kidding, but really there’s a time in life for everything. And 16 is not the time for exploding vaginas and 3 am feedings.

Also I’m the oldest of 8 kids. I know a thing or two about babies. You should work at a daycare center. That’ll cure your baby itch for a while.