Simon - firstname.lastname@example.org isn't ungoogleable.
I cheerbombed TG, I rolled in fresh poop and, as I couldn’t find Bella, Chloe or Rusty, I made friends with myself by sniffing my own butt (from a distance).
And now I’m going to have a drink of Bacardi Breezer and pretend it’s a margarita.
Cinco Seis de Mayo!
One of the statements in the first paragraph is a lie. You, dear reader, are required to guess which one.