I don’t think this is getting any more likely to happen anytime soon, maybe not for the rest of my life. Too many things that I used to “live for” are gone, discontinued, illegal, or unavailable. All my friends have gone away, they simply won’t answer my calls or emails. I’ve already gone through the angry stage as i felt it happening, now i’m slipping into despair… and even when i thought i could be happy, i had that little feeling, that it would all end too soon. I’d need a complete mindwipe and go back in time 20 years to even get a chance to be deep down happy. :( :(