fast for 40 days (read all 3 entries…)
Begin Again-Day 1 18 months ago

170 So I never stuck with it when I begun before, for the same reason I rarely complete my fasts, no matter the length: social pressure and addiction. I notice every time I begin to fast that 90% of the activities in which my friends and associates partake involve eating. It can make it difficult to stay resolved. However, I have realized that there is never going to be a convenient time to do this, so I just have to start. I’m also weird and get stuck on numbers (the length of days as well as the start date). I have been that way since I was little. I have never been diagnosed with OCD, but I have shown signs of it for awhile, but I am getting better (and it’s more than just being obsessed with numbers, but G-d willing, all of that will be in the past). Anyway, there’s also the factor of just being plain addicted to food. Food is really a drug when used improperly. Well, for this fast, I plan to use juice and water. I have a trip later next month so I might eat raw veggies by then, but I don’t suppose it’s very helpful to worry about tomorrow’s troubles today. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. I can’t afford to make my own juice at this point, although I know it’s better, so I’m going to stick with the stuff I can buy at organic stores and trust Hashem with the rest.



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