Half-way through the evening I was feeling pretty lonely when all at once I asked myself, “Is this how I feel when I don’t have the tv to turn to?”

It reminded me of something I heard the radio, how researcher has shown that people watching their favorite tv shows experience the same emotions associated with having friends. This makes sense now. Fundamentally I am lonely – and since at the moment their I cannot see an avenue of escape from this emotion, I settle for the second bes, tv.

I’ve been lonely off and on (mostly on) for a long time. I know firsthand that loneliness is not a subtle or easy emotion. It can be one of the hardest things to live with.

It’s good to be reminded that there are real reasons for the things I do and they need to be respected. I am not to blame for my own lonliness, not can that lonliness be swept idly aside.

Sometimes tv is neccessary to fill a void. It’s just hard to find the right balance, where I use tv now to get through to a better place in my life but don’t become so dependent I’m stuck watching tv forever. It’s ok as a temporary crutch, but I don’t want tv to actually become who I am.

I have to take this one step at a time is all and keep reflecting along the way. Things aren’t as simple as they seem.