and I won’t be for a while. Or at least, that’s our plan. But, because our insurance changed and now that I’m a part of Kaiser, I’m wondering what are their options for pregnancy? Once I am pregnant, I should already know if I’m going to have an OBGYN or a midwife (or doula?) or both; a hospital birth, home birth, water birth, laying-on-my-back-with-IVs birth; or perhaps all of the above?

Currently, I’m watching The Business of Being Born and before I had ever seen it, I knew that the whole idea of a traditional hospital birth wasn’t exactly everything I would want in a birth of our child. The “documentary” is obviously bias, but it does shed light on the other options.

I am absolutely terrified of childbirth. I can watch it, but thinking of myself going through it and everything that is involved is beyond my scope of tolerance. Pain is just not my friend, and frankly, I had enough of it in 2005. But, I want children, and I want to be as safe and comfortable as possible.

Obviously, there is no way around the pain…and so if I must go through it, is there a way for me to do so where my voice is heard?

More on this later, as I finish watching the documentary and reading up on all the options.