in fact i think i may be having some sort of a breakdown. all related to health worries – passed out at work on Monday (yes, i had eaten, no i did not get up too quickly) and been having prolonged dizziness for days now. also burning hands, blurred vision and a bunch of symptoms which all sound to me like MS – have had 2 100% clear brain scans in the last few years – one at the end of 2008, plus an EEG for possible seizures. Now the neuro wants to do a sleep EEG but he can’t fit me in till 25 June. Meanwhile work is impossible cos the screen is making me dizzier than ever. the medication my GP gave me on Monday to relax made me hallucinate which did not help, the herbal stuff i went on to instead at his recommendation is doing nothing. I’ve been crying on and off all week, feeling like i’m going to lose it and the symptoms just get worse with all the stressing.

I know MRI’s don’t always rule out MS but the neurologist is not seeming to think i need more other tests to rule it out completely so he’s persisting with the EEG / seizure thing.

The worst thing at the moment is, i cannot tell what is an anxiety symptom and what is a ‘real’ symptom, and i think i’m going to really lose it. this is not doing my relationship with the X-X or Raph any good.