M gave me a gift card many months back, and I am finally going to spend it. Tomorrow, after my exam. I need summer clothes in a big way – I’d like a couple of comfortable skorts for work, if I can find them, and tops to match.

I wish I could be excited about it. I’m happy to have the time and money, and I will be relieved when I have a couple of decent hot-weather outfits to wear, but I feel huge and ugly right now, so time in front of the mirror doesn’t thrill me. And I’m so tired of buying clothes I momentarily think look good, only to feel like a giant LOSER when I wear them for real. I wish shopping and dressing were more pleasurable activities. I don’t get how almost every single woman I know LOVES shopping, always looks smashing, and manages to keep up with the latest fashions. For me, it’s just another source of stress and self-doubt.

Ah well, better to look like a loser in new, weather-appropriate clothes than an overdressed, out of style loser :o)