pierott Is HappY

Talk to my brothers at least once a week
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I have 2 brothers I am the middle child. My older brother has schizophrenia but on meds, but drives me into a deeper depression every time I talk to him. My dad died last week and his death is so hard but of unresolved issues and I feel he overdosed on purpose my mom died abusing drugs and OD’d a few years ago. Anyway my older brother is in complete denial of how we grew up…he thought process is just delusional…but what do I expect with his illness..right?? But now he is writing his autobiography and he is asking me about our childhood a lot and yea I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I don’t know if his therapist is having him do that because of his delusional fantasies about our miserable childhood but I have an easier time just practicing reality therapy…but acknowledging my pain with the past and recognizing my feelings but focusing on the present avoid discussing the past because all human problems are cause by unsatisfying relationships.
excuses for my parents behavior stand directly in my way of making a positive change. i am deeply saddened that I have no more parents but I need to disconnect from that pain and find new connections. Nothing is going to replace my parents but im learning to recognize healthy people.
my younger brother and i see eye to eye about our painful memories and he really builds me up…i am so blessed to have him back in my life.
i really want to be a better sister but it is so difficult communicating with my older brother
argggghhh i need strength…..



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