I feel despondent about this. I don`t know quite where I`m going, or for what.

I do need a grand plan, it almost doesn`t matter what.

There was a plan to build a house and this would have satisfied this, but that fell by the wayside for reasons of cost.

The painting project, which involves (somwhat unsystematicilly) documenting the suburb in which I live, is perhaps the nearest I have to a grand plan, my only potential source of srtistic redemption.