Yes, you heard me. I am ALREADY married to Gerard Arthur Way.
Our love was a passionate one, one never leaving the other wanting. We were married, both drunk, then went home and watched SpongeBob SquarePants while eating chocolate-covered grapes.
Once we awaoke the next morning and realised what we had done, we quickly disposed of the television and of course swore we’d never even HEARD of that sexy sponge. Then we realised we were marries and laughed untill grape nectar came out of our noses.
Alas, the strong hands of time would drive us apart. But I shalt never forget him.
I have also been married to Bert McCracken, Johnny Depp and various boy-next-door types.
cough
True story.