Went to 6th or 7th class yesterday after long day. This time I got minor rage in it. Feel like it will be literally years before I would be able to defend myself even slightly, and some of the complex movements dont seem to defend situations that would occur, and half the time I feel the other person could happily clock you one in the mush whilst you are figuring some fancy hold and trying to work out the weak line. I know it is clearly a wonderful thing when you are experienced and can shift someone with literally no effort. At the moment I am clumsy and useless at it, which I dont believe I am in general. And our sensei, who is a dude, thinks you need to go twice a week 2 hours at a time. I understand that becoming a zen ninja is a slow process, but in all the films it only take a summer of condensed effort and you can fight crime in a bespoke ninja outfit. I cant fit more than once a week in along with having a life and doing all the other stuff I like doing like seeing my wife,eating cake and watching classy hit american tv shows to dull the pain of having to work all day. My 43things spirit is down ;_;