Linda The Sales Trainer (from here on referred to as LTST) has been chipping away at my low self esteem and passive demeanor by telling me kind things like, “It just wasn’t a memorable experience when I first met you,” and “You need to come across more competent,” and my favorite, “You need to wear a navy blue skirt with a nice little cream blouse and a jacket. People want to buy from people who dress better than them.”

She has now suggested hypnosis and I fear that she will replace whatever shred of happiness remains in the far corner of my brain with some ridiculous sales tactic like, “Keep your face like that. No, don’t smile. Just look this way. Like how I am.”

I want to run far away and make sidewalk art and sell hamburgers on a beach before I turn into some sort of twisted sales experiment and I’m left without spirit or individuality, carrying out my days like a zombie programmed only to hustle people into buying pocket folders.

Help.