I don’t want to learn hypnotism, i WANT to master it.
My reasons are simple, but first the whole story.
The first person to expose me to this world exposed me to things my young mind was not yet ready to comprehend.
I was a four year old child who was not able to understand the impossible things i could achieve, nor could my parents. One man could. A known sex offender. I let my curiosity have the better of me in order to learn to control my ‘power’. Bad mistake.
Firstly he disagreed to teach until he ‘altered’ my way of thinking, my mind was to stubborn to absorb. He was so vague and ‘mystical’ for lack of a better word. Next came the drugs. It started with extacey tablets, powerful shit, to powerful for a child, but they “were needed”. Chloroform and types of ether were used when i struggled to much, or then he didn’t want me to remember the faces of the “upstanding members of the community” who needed “to explore my power”. You may think I was niave but remember, I was four, nearly five, seeking answers.
And so initially I did not remember the abuse that made it difficult to sit, go toilet, and be a naturally happy child. But the dreams were terrifying. After perhaps a month i started to become immune to the drugs, I was in constant pain, my head a mess, waking up from unconsieceness earlier and earlier, seeing faces, remembering conversations. Also i began developing a personality complex. My mind began splitting in two, me and opposite man. His function was to shield me from the things that made me want to harm myself and other people. I was only four and feeling suicidal, homicidal. Only four, nearly five and so trapped.
And so i disagreed to be a part of it anymore, and to my amazement i was let go only to be told, “you will be back”. “why” i thought “would i want to go back?” And for a fortnight i recovered. But the cravings kicked in, the E you see was needed for a reason. I fought but my strenght was limited, to much injury, physically and mentally. And so I succumbed.
More Abuse WORSE than before. Stronger drugs, lsd, cannabis, cocaine, Mdma, injections, often at the same time. If my teachers did not discover the abuse I would have died no doubt.
But i recovered it took me two years but i recovered. And hid it from my parents perfectly.
Strangely enough his guidance although twisted helped me control my power, using rage and paranoia, instilling fear in my subjects.
eventially I weeded these methods from myself and went back to not understanding how i could do what i could do. i only used it when neccesary, to ease peoples suffering, to help people. never myself, it never felt right. but this world is full of lazy using people who see a person like me as a workhorse, a scapegoat.
The final straw came when recent dreams of both me and my girlfriend being raped robbed me of my sleep. We were drugged, hypnotised and raped, by people i considered friends and one of his former students, who are using this power everyday to literally get away with murder.
So i ask for all the help you can give, before my mind is once again consumed by anger and i go on a revenge mission. For this has happened me before many times and will happen again, but one way or another it will stop. Either by your help strenghtening my mind or setting a few homicidal examples it will stop.
I do not want to travel the dark path for then ultimatly they win.
Thank you.