I think that you really got it right with this quote:

When the soul is neglected, it doesn’t just go away, it appears symptomatically in obsessions, addictions, violence and loss of meaning.

—Thomas Moore

Where is your soul? Where is your heart? Maybe that is what you are searching for. Most of us are. An other is an excellent entry point for plumbing those depths, as you very well know. A little known secret is that most of the answers are found in the territory between first eye contact and first kiss. Our culture doesn’t do a very good job of celebrating that.

Another little secret is that the more of these connections you have, the better. It diffuses the sexual energy and leaves the heart space active and exposed. Forget about soulmates as being the ONE. Think of them more as friends who play at the soul level. The more the merrier. By holding several in active awareness simultaneously, the interplay between you and them is palpable. You are also not so tempted to pile on external meaning and story, such as “what would it be like to be married to this one?” or “How dare he treat me this way when we have shared this intimacy?”. All your others are working through their own shit and often times uncomfortable moments in relatedness actually have nothing to do with you. It is much easier to see this for what it is when this particualr “jerk-ball” other is one of many.

Dance is a great place to start. This is because the interplay of hearts is very much a dance. It is dynamic and invloves “giving weight” and your partner becomes a mirror to yourself. I would suggest contra dancing or ecstatic dance. I know that Seattle is a hotbed for both.

Let me know if you need dance links or reading suggestions for any of this. I would love to hear of your journeys