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So, me and my (now ex) boyfriend had been having a bit of a rough time the last few weeks. On Saturday, we had a long chat and managed to sort a few things out…. but, being the idiot that I am, I just went and screwed everything up within the next couple of days.

what did you do that would cause you to feel it was “your fault” and it really wasn’t? There are two people inn a relationship and if one member says something that the other person “takes the wrong way” they should be given the chance to explain it in further detail. That’s why communication is so important in any relationship. You didn’t do anything wrong Gemma.

He now doesn’t think I love him, or even think about him that much! Sure, I’ve made some dumb mistakes, but they don’t mean that I don’t love him, because I do, I really do love him with all my heart :(

If you love him, you have to show this love to him.

The thing with me is that I don’t think before I do stuff. I’m a bit self absorbed at times, but who isn’t? I try not to be, I try to make people happy but somehow it all ends up going wrong!

He knew how you were in your relationship. BTW-How long have you been sesing this guy of yours? DOn’t always try and make the other person happy, make yourself happy and treat and pamper yourself. We all love you here on 43 things, does he have an account here?

On Tuesday, he broke up with me. I tried, and I tried to talk him round but I couldn’t. Not only did he finish our relationship, but he’s decided he wants nothing more to do with me. He’s deleted his email account, and changed his phone numbers so that I can’t contact him.

Do you have his mailing address? Send him some flowers and include a long letter and if you really love this guy, you have to show it to him in some way. Since I don’t know what you might perceive as “finishing the relationship” I can’t tell if he is just being stubborn, afraid of the next step in your relationship, he is afraid of being cheated on for some reason.

The question you have to ask yourself, “Is this the guy I want in my life, because I really am crazy about him and really love him.” If the answer is “yes” then don’t let him leave.

I honestly don’t know if this goal is achievable, but I can’t give up on him. I can’t give up on us… I love him and miss him so much. I feel so unbearably empty, I don’t think I can live without him :(

I would take some pictures you have on your PC or already printed out, go have your favorite picture of him and you blown up, with balloons and a note saying “I love you, can we please talk?” Leave that posterboard in front of his doorway and see if he responds back.

Maybe contact one of his best friends and talk to him/her and find out why your bf doesn’t want to talk to you. Leave a note on his car windshield, this might get obcessive but what is the one thing you did together that would make him just think about your relationship and the fun and love you had together?

Another thing is if you have some stuff over his place as he may have some of your stuff in your place, you have to find a way to transfer this to him and you. If you can’t reach him what happens to your stuff? Does he mail it to you?

I can’t say I understand how you must feel because every breakup is completely different. Maybe just allow so time to settle in, as revengeofnudefreedom mentioned, he is hurting right now, so are you, do what you can to make the pain go away, which it will in time, cry, shed some tears, invite some girlfriends over and let them help you deal with the breakup.

I know it will be hard to but eventually you have to go on, and maybe he will contact you as he loves you too. I hope this works out for you Gemma. Right before the 4 th of July weekend too…If you ever want to talk about this with someone my email is gstamas@aol.com and I have a Facebook Account as well.

(((((((((((huggs)))))))))))

Love,

George :)

don’t know all of it, but from what I read, it seems pretty extreme of him to have done that (deleted numbers etc…)

(((((Gemma))))

I hope you find some way of contacting him and that things work out.

Thinking of you :)

The way you’re talking, you always make things look like everything is your fault. You know, when a couple works at its best, it’s because there is a good balance. Both members are responsible for their success in love.

When it doesn’t work, it’s the same. Sure, there are exceptions, but you both look like “normal” people, you and your ex. And the way it was done, the way he acts, I honestly don’t think he’s all white in this.

I can be mistaken, but that’s what I think.

but it’s probably for the best. Take some time to settle yourself down, find out what you really truly want and think about why you do what you do and what really makes you happy.
No one person has everything you want, and someone else won’t make you happy, it comes from inside.
You’ll get through this, but it will suck for a while.
But once you get to the other end it will be worth it… you’ll learn alot.