went on the fritz this past weekend. The switchplate started buzzing and smoke came out, and they died.

Okay, I am not a handy person, but I thought, “I can do this.”

So today I took out the old switch and went with it to Home Depot. There were no switches tomatch it, and it took me frigging forever to find someone to help me. It turns out that because it’s a dimmer switch, it’s three aisles down. If my head had been going to explode, it would have done so then.

I took it home. I turned off the receptacle at the breaker box and carefully attached all the wires. I accidentally pulled out the green ground wire and had to figure out where it went. Finally, I got it all attached and tried it out. Zip. Zero. Nada.

I kept messing with it, but nothing. My head was ready to explode again, but it was time to go to work.

Came home. Messed a bit more. Went online, read some directions, which were EXACTLY WHAT I HAD DONE. Head . . . will . . . explode . . . now.