The GOOD brands which ship international are:

1)Metamorphose temps de filles
2)Baby the stars shine bright

Some of their dresses can fit plus sizes, you need to check the measurements listed.

If they are too expensive, or you need a custom size try:

1)Anna house
2)In the starlight

To find out more about lolita you should lurk and read in the following community:
http://community.livejournal.com/egl/

And read this good guide about the fashion so that you don’t end up with ita or cosplay look:
http://lolita-handbook.livejournal.com/

It will take time and research, but one day it is possible you can dress gothic lolita!
Also, gothic lolita is just one subcategory of lolita. There is sweet see picture, classic, country, sailor… many others!
I hope I have helped you to achieve one of your 43 things ^_