im stuck in a rut too and it’s so hard not to be negative because technically nothing is the way i want it to be right now-my dad is gone my mom has cancer my fiance is across the ocean unable to come because of money of course-he doesn’t even have a job but is trying so hard in a really small place with few jobs and i have to wait for him to get a job and then on top of that save up enough to get over here- i have to be patient and positive when its so hard to do—we want our lives to be the way we want them to be and it feels unfair that they are not. all that helps me is just thinking about anything positive that i can-i have a wonderful fiance that loves me and treats me right-my dad im sure is still around i think i can feel him sometimes-my moms surgery went well and hopefully the chemo and radiation will take the rest of the cancer down to nothing-my fiance will be here soon and we will start a life. its hard as hell-but theres usually a way to flip everything around and bring a positive light to it. the hardest thing for me is patience-faith. i guess that’s the lesson im learning right now.