xochitl213 wishes to congratulate the court of Connecticut on a great decision!

learn to drink in moderation (read all 10 entries…)
sigh. 2 months ago

well, let me tell you what went down this weekend.
friday i went out with some friends. i wasn’t fall-down drunk by the end of the night, but i was feeling no pain. i think the real reason i stopped drinking was because the bar i was at closed ridiculously early (yes, 3 am is ridiculously early in chile – it would be like a bar closing at midnight or even eleven in the states) – and that is not the right reason.
saturday i went to the discos and made a really conscious effort to drink slowly, and i drank so slowly that i spent the whole night waiting for the effect to kick in. at 4:30 i left the discos, because i had to catch a colectivo to get home (an unusual situation for me) and i was very sober and definitely angry. i need to learn, all over again, where my limit is – my PROPER limit. and then i need to stick to it. i think, along the way, i also should learn not to have my night ruined by looking at my watch at 4:30 and still feeling sober. i did, after all, dance the night away at the discos with some wonderful people, and my bank account will thank me that much more the next day for the sobriety.
i guess i should feel encouraged by the physical restraint that i had, but i am feeling a little like the whole thing backfired because of the attitude i had. however, overall, i still think things are getting better. there are bound to be some roadblocks along the way. the wouldn’t call alcoholism a disease if there weren’t. getting better, getting better.

Jul 21, 12:50PM PDT | 1 cheer


Comments:

blincolnw

It sounds like you’re making progress with this goal. You should try just having one drink some night and see how that is for you. Do you think you could do it?

Jul 24, 12:05PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

xochitl213 wishes to congratulate the court of Connecticut on a great decision!

well, yes and no.

I remember you said before (or someone did) that I should try to go a few weeks or a month without drinking at all, just to be sure I could do it. I actually tried it about two years ago. I made it one week, and by the end of that week I would have committed various crimes to have a drink. I think maybe if I could get myself into that AA “just for today” mentality, it might be easier, but thus far, I haven’t been able to. And it has by no means been easy.
In response to your current challenge… well. I can have one drink or two drinks and stop easily. That’s not to say I don’t want more, but really, what happens is when I start feeling it, not when I start drinking. There’s a certain point I pass where I don’t stop at all, even if I’m unable to walk. I have a remarkable ability to not be sick or pass out while drinking – just another part of the curse I have to deal with. (Then again, they say your body reacts and changes with your alcohol consumption, so maybe I wasn’t always that way. I know I used to get sick more than occassionally if I were drinking lots in one night, and since I’ve come to Chile five months ago I’ve definitely been drinking more in a given night, but I haven’t thrown up once since I’ve been here.)
I guess the short and long of it is, I can have one or two but not four or five. It’s kind of scary to see it written like this. I hope my entries in here continue to scare me… and I hope you all continue to support me. Thank you!

Jul 24, 12:14PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

Tiarra Noel

Whoa.

You’re right. Our situations sound incredibly similar, hopefully reading your entries can help to keep me focused in a way and inspire me.

When you said this: ” I can have one drink or two drinks and stop easily. That’s not to say I don’t want more, but really, what happens is when I start feeling it, not when I start drinking. There’s a certain point I pass where I don’t stop at all, even if I’m unable to walk.” I feel like I am the EXACT same way, and I never pass out either but I will keep drinking until I can barely stand straight, I also tend to not remember which can be pretty damn hazardous.

I really wish you good luck with this! It sounds like you’re trying really hard.

If you find something that works please share. Thanks. =]

Jul 24, 08:25PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

blincolnw

Good luck to both of you on this one.

Jul 25, 07:02AM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

(This comment was deleted.)

Jul 24, 08:26PM PDT


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