well, let me tell you what went down this weekend.
friday i went out with some friends. i wasn’t fall-down drunk by the end of the night, but i was feeling no pain. i think the real reason i stopped drinking was because the bar i was at closed ridiculously early (yes, 3 am is ridiculously early in chile – it would be like a bar closing at midnight or even eleven in the states) – and that is not the right reason.
saturday i went to the discos and made a really conscious effort to drink slowly, and i drank so slowly that i spent the whole night waiting for the effect to kick in. at 4:30 i left the discos, because i had to catch a colectivo to get home (an unusual situation for me) and i was very sober and definitely angry. i need to learn, all over again, where my limit is – my PROPER limit. and then i need to stick to it. i think, along the way, i also should learn not to have my night ruined by looking at my watch at 4:30 and still feeling sober. i did, after all, dance the night away at the discos with some wonderful people, and my bank account will thank me that much more the next day for the sobriety.
i guess i should feel encouraged by the physical restraint that i had, but i am feeling a little like the whole thing backfired because of the attitude i had. however, overall, i still think things are getting better. there are bound to be some roadblocks along the way. the wouldn’t call alcoholism a disease if there weren’t. getting better, getting better.