Contemplative Jenn is longing, forcefully

Live my life with arms wide open (read all 3 entries…)
To a fault 17 months ago

Right now I’m doing this with audacity and unmitigated joy. My arms, my heart, everything about me is wide open, to the extent that it sometimes skews perspective and intrudes on daily living. So where are the words? The music? If I were only living my writer’s life in the midst of this, I would be complete. Throughout my life creative practice has been the door to my heart, but it seems that thinking, dreaming, is a substitute for writing these days. I have the fodder, and the wish, but not the inclination or the focus. I am desperately hoping to wrestle back that focus. I have to. My life depends on it.

Jul 23, 2008, 08:07AM PDT | 3 cheers


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Jul 23, 2008, 08:21AM PDT

Contemplative Jenn is longing, forcefully

I'm not sure how good a teacher I'd be

and the thing is, I’m not quite sure how I got here myself. I know it’s been a road of years marked by battles, small, progressive closings of my heart at the hands of loss and living. My personal battle has always been against the caution and cynicism embedded in survival. Something has unfurled for me in the past few years, gradually, imperceptibly, although there are precious days when I have felt it, like quickening, preparing me for some new life.

This kind of living has its trade-offs. Not that I would trade it. I would not, for anything.

Perhaps we can teach each other, or maybe you don’t need me at all. Something tells me you may know the path even better than I do.

Jul 23, 2008, 08:35AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

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Jul 23, 2008, 10:17AM PDT

Contemplative Jenn is longing, forcefully

Cycles

I do believe our lives go in cycles. Please, my dear, embrace the caution, but fight the cynicism. I have found that caution can aid healing, but cynicism is a lot like scar tissue, impeding a return to full feeling and movement.

Thank you, Sis. I love you. I hope you know that.

Jul 23, 2008, 10:45AM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer


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