“Finding an alternative activity (like exercising) to respond to feeling insecure is one approach. But your statement that “I do not want to become needy of others, but feel that I cannot build myself up enough to get through this,” is confusing – it seems that finding others to build relationships with is the direction you need to go in – you need to try to expose yourself to others, but in a way that is not too overwhelming for them.”
Stanton Peele
http://www.peele.net/faq/secure.html