Less than he originally said it would be for… but if he really does give me the $1500 then I’ll only be $300 short on paying off his crazy spending spree on my credit card last month.

I find that during this time of anger and anxiety, I want to splurge, spend some money on myself:

• Get my hair done (which I did… $45!)
• Buy some fancy new beauty product (which I did… $24 lip gloss!!!)
• Get a manicure or a pedicure, OR BOTH! (which I didn’t, yet)
• Buy some new shoes or a new outfit (which I also didn’t, yet)

I know that what I need right now is not to try to convince myself that I am still beautiful and desirable in the wake of this relationship, but rather, to nourish my soul in some way. Spending money isn’t going to nourish me. Getting out of debt is healthy. I have got to find ways to pamper myself and feel good WITHOUT spending like this.

THINGS TO MAKE ME FEEL GOODWITHOUT going deeper into debt:

• Clean the apartment so that it feels like a comfortable place to be
• Clean up all the clothes and laundry and have nice fresh clean clothes to wear
• Tidy up all my makeup and make a space to do my own primping with what I already have
• Condition and blow dry my own hair and use the products I already have.
• File and paint my own nails and give myself a pedicure.