So, the running continues, but I have to say I have not been finding it as fun as before. I don’t have trouble getting out the door because I know how great I’ll feel afterwards (and I always do) but during, well I am getting a bit frustrated with it. When I went out on Thursday some guy started talking to me and as I was just starting a new interval anyway, I bombed it up the road, which was also on a hill. I felt really really awful, almost nauseous, afterwards, and realised that if THAT is what full pelt feels like then the runs I’m doing at the moment are nowhere near. But then again, I would never make it out the door at all if I had to make myself feel like that 10 times in a row, so for now I will have to be satisfied with knowing that I’m raising my heart rate, even if it’s not to the max.

I hate that I am still carrying so much extra weight, and feeling totally rubbish whenever I try to push myself. I also hate not knowing whether the weight is an excuse and I am just being lazy. And I hate not knowing when it’s going to get easier.

I know I am going to have to stick with it if I’m going to get fitter but boy, it’s hard work sometimes, and I’m still hardly doing anything!! I know though that if I keep on getting out there it’ll start to feel better in time, I guess it’s a cyclical thing, and I am just at the wrong end of the cycle. I also haven’t been paying as much attention to my sleep and motivation as I was before so if I spend a bit more time focusing on how good it feels to get back sweaty and bouncy, hopefully that’ll counteract the negatives.

Still, 30 min on Thursday, 28 min today on exactly the same route, so that’s something to be positive about…