skyandheart hell yes!

figure out what i want to do with my life (read all 6 entries…)
Self Respect 11 months ago

I’m currently in two minds about a job I started last week. I feel that it is not good for me, not good for my heart, my soul. I am over-qualified, and yet the boss works to point out all my inadequecies, and then used them to make my pay offer lower than I expected, because, as he put it ‘I’m not polished yet’. Fuck you man. I have so many skills that you can’t even imagine, but you don’t want to see that.

I’ve noticed that since I started this job I don’t want to get up in the morning. Which is a sure sign with me that something is not right in my life. And I mean every day. Even on my days off, I still have that job hanging over my head.

However, I have been looking for a job for 3 months. And it was always going to be a retail job (I’m changing career directions, and don’t want a job that requires too much of my commitment, because I’m doing things in my own time.) I knew it would be like this. But now I’m doing it, I’m wondering if it’s worth it. Yes, having this job now enables me to move into the city. But is it worth this sinking feeling that’s plaguing my life right now? I don’t feel the joy of life anymore. I’m struggling to hold on to it, but I’m finding that going on my runs is a major motivational challenge, I’m playing my guitar less, and I’m eating worse.

Maybe it’s worth staying unemployed for a while, just to really target myself at the things I love? Or am I being a total immature wimp, who just needs to grit my teeth and stick it out?

Aug 10, 2008, 03:42PM PDT | 2 cheers


Comments:

BeaWing

Hi,

Been there…not fun. I decided my boss was not worth my health or my happiness. I left. Decided to work as a temp until I found people I really wanted to work with. It took a year and a half of working for different companies, in different positions, to figure out what I wanted. What I didn’t do in the beginning was
make a list of all the things I wanted in a job and in an employer, and focus on them. I made the list of what I didn’t want…”Mistake” Make the list of what you want, and remind yourself every day of what you expect to receive. The universe is yours and waiting to give you the things you really want. God said ask and ye shall receive. Good luck.

Aug 13, 2008, 03:24PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

skyandheart hell yes!

Thanks for the advice. I think that’s definitely the way to look at things.

Turns out that things were taken out of my hands- the boss decided to let me go after a week of my trial period. Funnily enough, I felt completely relived and now I feel all my energy and zest for life returning!

I have zero respect for the boss, who didn’t even have the balls to do the dirty work himself, instead putting the job in the hands of the manager, who was completely annoyed at being put in the position considering that she actually likes me, and would prefer to keep me on. She told me that he tends to hire young kids who he can underpay, and have control over.

Too bad I have a bit of intelligence ‘up there’. Funny thing is, I actually had to dumb myself and my CV down just to get the job, and yet I was still too good for it. Huh. Time to find a job that I’m worth!

I started some work experience yesterday a record label, which I’m enjoying and totally excited about going back. Funny how I feel so much more motivated to go to a job that I’m not being paid for, than to the job that I was being paid, but under-valued at.

Thanks for the support, BeaWing, I’m going to keep at it, until I’m somewhere that feels right!

Aug 13, 2008, 07:17PM PDT | Respond to this


skyandheart has gotten 2 cheers on this entry.

 

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