Right now I’m dead in the middle of it. I have talked about it left and right, am going to therapy, and I’m trying to get my life back together. I lost all sense of self in the relationship, and I know she loved me, I know I love her, I do still, but she blames me for breaking up. I know I made mistakes, some of them repeatedly, but I was never unfaithful or made her second in my mind. I just let my insecurities get the best of me and took it out on her. But she never resolved that with me. She never gave me a hint she just decided one day she did not want to be with me. Right now she’s getting on with her life. I could not be happier to see her happy. And at the same time my heart shatters to think she will be THAT happy and share it with someone else. Because that is what I woke up to do every day I was with her. I was just too slow to realize how.
But after all, and though I still blame myself a relationship is made of 2, and it cannot be all m fault. I just hope that time heals this wounds, like it has hers, and I hope one day I am proud of who I am instead of blaming myself. The career can wait a bit. I need to be ok alone first, I keep qworking hard every single day, but I need to find joy in life again. I am lost because I forgot what that was when you’re on your own. I thinkof happy moments as something to share, and to have no one special to share those moments with tears me inside.
Time will tell, and I understand fully what you’re talking about. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you and wish you peace and happiness. If you have gotten over it and have any advice feel free to let me know. I could sure use some.