1. Have you ever looked up “synonym” in Roget’s Thesaurus?

2. Ponder the question of Adam’s navel.

3. Take the dog out to read his pee-mail.

4. Teaching origami to the lost sheep so it can return to the fold.

5. Wearing teflon soled ballet slippers.

6. What doth it profit a man if he gain the world but lose his solipsism?

7. Nobody nose the truffles I’ve seen.

8. Did you hear about the drunken shepherd who kept seeing double ewes?

9. My quantum mechanic just raised his rates. Even though it’s all relative, I hate physics.