Xiubami is trying to push a train up a hill

post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :) (read all 53 entries…)
Name change 10 months ago

Women if you are or will get married have/do you change your last name?

or if you are a man would you expect her to change her name?

The reason I ask is I have been working in a somewhat political field and begun to build my reputation and I am afraid if I change my name it will be confusing—(that’s not the right word but you know what I mean) Plus I really like my last name, my first name is confusing enough and his last name is confusing also, his last name makes my initials ridiculous. Any thoughts?



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kimerlynn61 wanderlustful

Maybe.

I don’t like my last name very much (It’s the name of a bird.), so I would consider changing it if I liked his better.

You could always attach his name to yours, such as “Xiubami Jones-Thomas.” I think that would help avoid confusion. Good luck deciding!

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I don't give a shit what name...

...anyone uses in my home, married or not. It’s just a name.

pixiespassion is having a baby!!!!!

It's just a name

I could understand it being a big issue if you were the last one to carry on the family name or some shit like that but who cares really?

When I go to pick up my meds from the pharmacy they have it under both my married names. My ex and current husband, hyphenated. Some fuck up with the insurance. Do I care? Not really.

I’ve taken my husbands name. But when I got divorced I went back to my maiden. It’s all really a matter of preference.

Girl From Mars shut up and let me go

I would probably change mine to his name just because I’ve never really thought about it, but then I’m not in a career where my name is important. If you like yours and worry about changing it then keep it as it is!

Women if you are or will get married have/do you change your last name?
I think I will add his name. It means a lot to my boyfriend that I change my name. It means a lot to me that we be joined as one in that symbolic way. However, my own last name also means a lot to me. Legally I’ll probably keep it and in everyday life I probably won’t use it as much. But it’s a big part of my identity, so I won’t just get rid of it.

The other reason I’d just tack on his last name instead of replace it is that I do anticipate that my Hispanic hertiage will play a role in my future career, and I want to make sure that my last name shows who I am.

In your case (or in the case of anyone who’s built a name for themselves professionally) I’d think it would be smart to not change your name all together, or at least for the public realm. Tack his on at the end if it means something to you, but if it’s not a big deal, then just embrace your own name.

And now I’m REALLY curious as to what your initials would be :-)

Xiubami is trying to push a train up a hill

it would be B.A.G.
Xiubami is my nickname that my friends call me

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Jessica RIP Farrah

I'm all for using the name

that makes you most proud.
I finally have a last name I’m proud to have. Simple and good, like Dave’s whole family..
Couldn’t say that about my first hubby’s surname, and I would hate to go back to my father’s name.

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I’m not married, but one day I hope to be and I will change my last name.

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Maxime is an empty heart.

Why changing the name?

Here, a married woman always keeps her last name and doesn’t have to take the man’s name.

I don’t really have an opinion on the subject, since I really don’t know why women should do this. I used to think it was discriminatory for the woman to have to give up on her real name, but it looks like a lot of women prefer to have their husband’s name.

So, I’m really wondering why to do this and if someone can tell me, I’d be pleased.

OH, well, Max...

I can help you here.

See, in a civilized society men own their women, so the women take their husband’s name to indicate which herd they belong to.

Maxime is an empty heart.

I see...

So, in a civilized society, a woman is like a pet that belongs to its master?

How fabulous…...

Yeah, that's right.

And she has to do what you tell her and stuff.

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Jessy is having computer problems.

I can think of one practical reason

for a couple to share the same last name:

If they have kids, the kids will probably be “hypenated,” i.e. Emily Smith-Jones. Fine, no problem.

Little Emily grows up and marries Jared Carter-Wombat.

They each keep their names. Fine.

When their child Katerina is born, what is her name? Katerina Smith-Jones-Carter-Wombat? And do we need to invent a super-hyphen to go between the Jones and the Carter?

Many say just give the child the father’s last name, but what’s fair about that? It’s the mother’s child, too.

Personally, I’d rather change my name and let the kids have the “family name” that to have a child that did not share my last name.

Maxime is an empty heart.

You’d rather change your name instead of giving the child only the name of his/her father?

It’s been the case for decades here, and we never had any problems. If my parents had given me their full names, I’d have 4 last names like in the example you have mentionned. I only have one because my parents knew it would be too long, so I only kept the name of my paternal grandfather. They chose one this way.

My aunt, who was born and lived the most of her life in France, had taken the name of her first husband. When she arrived in Quebec, she was a Mauris on half of her papers, and a Schneider on half the others. She had so much trouble having a health care card, and a driver license and all her immigration papers because she had two different names. For the government, it’s been like if two different persons had been trying to do the same thing at once. And she said it herself, she should really have kept her real name, it would have been much less trouble. She had to go to the hospital once and showed her card, on which it was written Mauris (her husband’s name). The receptionnist took it to check into the systems and couldn’t find a Mauris. It happened she was in the system on her real name. It made such a mess because she had to pay for her visit into the hospital that day, since she wasn’t “registered”.

Getting back to the child’s name thing. Today, parents have the choice to either give the child his/her father’s or mother’s name, or even both of them. In all cases though, children usually end up using only one of their last names, the first one, and if they have children, they give them this first last name (getting confusing here… lol!) It’s like a priority order or something…

Jessy is having computer problems.

Yes, I agree

that it’s really better for kids to just have one last name.

Here, in the Southern U.S., we are pretty traditional, and most young women who marry take their husband’s last name. I say young women, because older women are more likely to have established a professional reputation and to want to keep their names, even if it’s the name of someone they have divorced.

The one couple I can think of who kept their names gave their kids her name as a middle name and his as a last. That way, the kids had both names, but did not have the burden of hyphenation at such a young age.

Maxime is an empty heart.

Yeah, I get that it’s mostly a tradition thing. I think it used to work this way too, here, a few centuries ago. Honestly, it always looks so odd to me when a woman insists that she takes her husband’s name. I thought that they would have fought against it, like for the right to keep their names. I’m surprised to see how many women actually want to change their name!

We don’t have middle names here either, so giving one of the last names as the child’s middle name is not a possibility. ;) We never had any problems of having too many last names or anything, I’m not sure how I could explain it though, but it has always been okay!

emiliakaarina happy poppy

My last name is pretty rare

Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve been told that when I get married I shouldn’t change my last name. There’s only about 30 of us left with this last name and we want to keep the name alive. (My older sister’s last name is actually even rarer – there’s only 6 of them.)
Personally I’m not sure if I would want to change my last name some day if I do get married. It would depend on my future husband’s (wow that sounds so freaky) last name and probably also the situation we were in. So I haven’t made up my mind completely yet.
But I don’t think women should automatically change their last names when they get married. It’s not a ‘must’ in my opinion.

My late stepfather actually took my mother’s last name when they got married.

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jess jess jess is so sleepy!

oh god...

i like my name. i would like to keep my name.

the beau on the other hand…is VERY upset by this. he wants me to change my name and take his.

seeing as we’re planning on a wedding in about 2 years…this will have to get resolved eventually.

the other thing he is really serious about, is naming his first son after himself…which i WILL NOT do. he’s already the third with the name, and i do NOT want another.

so i think i might have to compromise, and change my last name to his, in order to avoid naming a future son after him.

Hmm, I've thought about this.

If I get married (I don’t know if would get married even if I met the right person :P).

Firstly I hate my surname, always have. So if I liked his surname I probably would change it.


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