But my friend’s daughter thought that he went to work To Make Money. Like, physically produce currency. Nobody ever corrected her because it was pretty damn cute.

watching the school choir sing when I was about 6 or something.

And the music teacher waved her hands like crazy at them to keep them in time.

Only I though each hand movement meant a different word – kinda like sign language. And that when I joined choir Id have to learn this elaborate signal system!

I also REFUSED to believe (at about 7) that babies could possibly be created as a result of sex since the logistics seemed so horrific. Why on earth would anyone want to do THAT to have a baby?

I thought you just decided you wanted a baby then as if by magic… TA DA!!! you were pregnant!

a kid, I figured out that the government must provide some sort of procedure or medical option to couples that had gotten married so that they could have kids.

You know, like the priest would hand you a bottle of pills or something else that made it physically possible to get pregnant or have functional sperm or whatever.

Apparently I believed that people couldn’t have babies until they were married (stupid), but had enough common sense (smart) to realize that marriage didn’t really do anything to change a person’s baby-making abilities…

For a long time, I used to think all it took to make a baby is for a boy and girl to kiss each other … for that reason, I was pretty opposed to letting people kiss me and I rarely gave kisses to anyone, not even a flying kiss. Sometimes my grandma, would grab my chin and kiss me hard and I would wipe off the kiss off me, as soon as possible.

never owned a car…...

...so whenever I got a ride in one & the driver would wave/nod at someone for letting them pass etc ( you know driving etiquette )- I thought for years this was because they knew each other.
I thought everyone was friends with each other, like a drivers club !

• blood would flow out of my ears if I spent more than 30 seconds with my head upside down
• a fruit tree would grow in my stomach (with branches growing out of my ears) if I ate seeds from apples, grapes, etc…
• I would cut angels into pieces if I cut with my scissors in the air
• people on TV could see me (I would never walk in front of TV naked, or pick my nose)
• my mother’s little finger really could tell her all my secrets
• related to Happy: those sea shells had a direct connection to some particular beach… sort of like a telephone… so I’d talk into them, hoping for someone to pick up
• I was abducted: my real parents were kidnapped in some basement while two witches were pretending to be my parents (no, my parents were not horrible to me… and they were very sad I had that theory)
• planes flew into space (outside the atmosphere), because I once had taken the plane in the night time, and assumed since that the stars and moon were within reaching distance