(Early goalpost tonight. Trying to cut back on the computer time.)

• find my turtle – Man, I’d hate to live in your house.

• idk lol 2 others O_O – I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING?

• Can I be fomus – Yes, you can be a `formus’ as you want. (Formus? WTF?)

• THE VAMPIRE_HUNT – ...Was a resounding failure, the last time we scheduled it for noon on a Sunday. Come on people, a little planning goes a long way, ok?

• not to get pissed with people who don’t remember my name – what can I do if they are dumb – Maybe they’re not dumb.. Maybe you’re just that forgettable?

• u me aur hum – ...idk lol?

• Who can help for realising my dream? – Certainly not me. Try the cast of characters from `Blue Peter’, maybe?

• get a facial several times a year – That can be arranged… and probably recorded.

• start tithing honestly – What is it with the church wantin’ everybody’s money? I have this theory that the amount of corruption is equally proportional to the amount of money they have to play with. I mean, I’m just sayin’..

• an economist – ...does it with charts?

• My Pack – ..Let me show you it?

• a mermaids life – ...Is spent sucking down shellfish on the cheap and combing seaweed out of her hair. It’s not exactly the best life, but hey.. What can you do when your genitalia is that of a fish, right?

• i love hacking – That’s nice. I love beer. How about you hack me a beer out of the fridge? Or better yet, how about you hack my credit rating into something a little better? Maybe you can hack me some firewood later?

• hawk someone password – I love hawking, but normally when I’m going to get someone’s password I usually “Double-crested Cormorant” it, myself.

• to arrange my life – ...I’m gonna need a large blanket, an armadillo and six gallons of super glue.

• create a dry riverbed in my front yard – Awww come on, you’re building a moat. Just say it, you’re re-directing water and you’re gonna build a moat. It’s a moat, right? You’re gonna have a moat-moster? Drawbridge? One of those, `My home is my castle’ sort of things? come on moat-boy, it’s gonna be a damn MOAT! Right? I really want a house with a moat. Moat. Moaty-moat.

• pasword of id – Logon of ego? Profile of super-ego?

• Voluneer with Orangutans – Did they place an ad in the `help wanted’ section of the local newspaper or something? “Orangutans seeking experienced administrative assistant. Must type 90 WPM and not mind the smell of, or airborne comings and goings of poo. All applicants welcome to apply, Orangutans are equal opportunity employers.”

• i want to get my rook pierced!! – Holy jesus, is that what the kids are callin’ it nowadays? What’s your, `Bishop’ then? How about your, `Queen’?

• market, market, market – ...sucks, sucks, sucks?

• Beat JAWS – Hooper, Quint and Chief Brody would be proud. But I gotta warn you.. You’re gonna need a bigger boat.

• MY BEST DREAM IS THAT I WANT TO WIN FREE PS3 – Goddamn, I wish my life was that simple. Instead, I find myself giving co-workers advice on how to not freak out a neighbor when bringing a whole freakin’ reptile garden into their new house, the best options for dinner-party menus and a rather odd discussion with a fundie on how the Large Haydron Collider is gonna create a black hole.

• is this a adults thing – Yes, yes it is. Now go back to the kiddie table and if you want more juice, just ask and I’ll get it for you.

• I just want to keep on travelling and never stop! – You’re like a shark.. A jet-lagged shark.. Who’s no stranger to TSA lines.