because it certainly hasn’t been my experience. I guess it depends where you live, but I’ve made a lot of acquaintances in Chicago, and a few really good friends.

I believe friendship is really vital and important. I think your life is going in a great new direction, and I’ll bet you’ll meet kindred spirits as you continue to pursue the fun things that you like to do.

from my own mother. I have to believe she is wrong. I think it may very well be more difficult than when you’re younger – especially when you’re in college, for instance – but I think both of our moms are being a little extreme. Speaking as a 34-year-old who is also in a time of flux, I mean.

I agree that it is harder as you get older because people get caught up in their world, usually involving existing friends and family and your Mum has a point on that score but you are certainly not on your own in the need to do this….to meet new people to have a life….it’s finding the kindred spirits that the hard bit.

There are plenty of adults who move to new places, pick up new hobbies, or just need to widen their social circle. I think it’s a bit harder in adult life, perhaps, because most childhood friendships form through ‘forced’ together-time: you’re at school together, you live in the same neighbourhood and want to play in the same areas, etc. But I’ve certainly made new friends quite recently, and I think they’re more valuable for being grown-up choices!

I’m 35 and I would count several people who I’ve met on 43T over the last couple of years as being extremely good friends – so don’t believe your mom and stick around ;)

How dare your mum put such a depressing thought into your head. Even if she believes it, it’s her job to help you feel buoyant and happy and hopeful, not crush your spirit! “No one” wants to form a new friendship at your age?! What, so we’ve got a friend quotient and once it fills up we just stick with the same friends forever and never mix it up a bit? We deliberately close ourselves off to new friendships and avenues of fun? Pah! What rot.

Sure, I agree with the people above that it might be a little bit more difficult without something like school to force you to interact with the same people day in day out until you form a bond, but it’s still perfectly doable. I’m 33, and I’m still making new friendships to complement the ones I’ve already got, and new friendships that are totally separate from my old ones.

Thing is, adults can be embarrassed to ask someone, for example, to go for coffee or just to hang out, unless it’s as a potential love partner. We rely more on the judgments of others, we fear rejection, and that’s why we find it harder to actively form friendships. But imagine it from the other side – if someone you met as an acquaintance wanted to spend more time with you, it would say to you, “You’re nice, you’re fun, I like you”, isn’t that a good thing? Wouldn’t you love to meet someone who actually wanted to be your friend? Doesn’t that imply that other people would too? Try getting involved with community groups – I made three good friends from being involved with a group who meet to discuss the regeneration of the area – or fun classes that don’t require too much brain power, and just get used to being social again. When you feel ready, make that leap. And I wholeheartedly agree that 43T is an absolutely ace place to make wonderful supportive friends that can “leak” into Real Life seamlessly and fruitfully.

I just glanced through my address book.

In the 3D world (in case your mother doesn’t consider online friends to be true friends), I can count 4 very close friends with whom I connected in my 30s.

One, I met through a community group. Two, I met through a professional association. The third, I met when she married my high-school boyfriend (with whom I’d stayed in touch).

At least one other professional-association pal is close enough that we invite each other to parties and other celebrations.

I can count another 5 or 6 from my 30s and 40s with whom I’m not in super-close contact these days – but with one exception (someone I decided, after much deliberation, to limit contact with), I could call on them for support in a crisis, and vice versa.

Then there are another dozen or so neighbours (all people I met no earlier than my late 40s, when I moved into this complex) and co-workers (all of whom I met in my 50s) with whom I hang out casually now and then – we have lunch/brunch/drinks/dinner, play Scrabble, go swimming, see the occasional film, and the like.

At least half of these people have the potential to be even closer friends if I put some effort into building the relationship beyond where it now sits.

And just to bring things full circle, I do count a number of people I’ve met online (both here and in other online communities) as friends. Not just acquaintances, but people I’d invite to stay in my home if they visited my area – and that’s not an invitation I extend lightly – and who have invited me to do likewise when I travel.

So, as Abs suggested, I’d recommend looking for like-minded folk in groups or classes that focus on your interests and passions. From knitting circles to political activism, there’s plenty to choose from. One of our local supermarkets throws free cooking classes. I’ve also met potential new friends while volunteering and dancing.

Oh, and one more source of people who can grow into treasured friends: nearly a third of my Facebook contacts are the now-adult children of some of my oldest friends. I served as “Cool Honorary Auntie” to these kids when they were younger, and they still allow me to be privy to stuff they might not tell their parents.

Your mum is kinda right, some people lose interest in meeting new people as they get older, but it’s okay, you don’t want to meet those people anyway!

But all the interesting, open minded people you want to hang out with want to hang out with you too! It’s just some are as jaded by such nonsense ideas as your mum is that they might not make the first move. But as other people have said, if you’d be happy to go and have a banter over coffee or some such, logic suggests that the other person might too.

you are all proof that there are open-minded, open-hearted adults willing and happy to create new bonds of friendship. This gives me the boost I needed today to look for a few options for meeting some kindred spirits out there.